Sunday, December 20, 2015

Eagles - Cardinals Diary

Horses Against Tanks, Bet On Tanks
> All healthy scratches for the Eagles (well, Jordan Hicks would be nice to have, but oh well), so all hail the Magic Smoothies

> It took all of a play for Red to terrify with wide open deep balls

> Third and 1 and a rollout shows Red has watched tape of Fletcher Cox and wants none of that

> CB Byron Maxwell got carried for 15 yards by TE Daniel Fells, because money does not buy strength

> It took four minutes for Red to show what happens when good teams play meh ones, and to call that "a little embarrassing", as NBC did, is a little bit of an understatement

> Actual RB1 Ryan Mathews is now actually RB1, and he gets six yards on two plays as Green goes quickly to nowhere

> Wildly important third and long is QB Sam Bradford to WR Jordan Matthews for 30, and still a game

> NBC seems to think we need a clock to show that Tempo Exists

> Mathews got called for holding on a perfect blitz pick up and pancake

> 3rd and 13 to Matthews to convert was massive, but Bradford on the ground afterward is a massive concern

> Most obvious moment in the game was QB Mark Sanchez handing off for his injury replacement snap

> TE Zach Ertz with the life-threatening failure to catch in the red zone

> K Caleb Sturgis connects, and it's Red 7, Green 3, guess it's still a game

> Cox missed on a sack, and the refs missed on a hold, prior to an 18-yard catch for WR / Eagle Nightmare Larry Fitzgerald

> Cox left the field, and Red immediately ran for 8 yards up the gut

> 3rd and somehow get off the field was RB David Johnson making LB Mychal Kendricks miss, and that's pretty much points

> 3rd and inches is power and ease for Johnson to convert, because one of these teams has a competent GM and coordinator, and the other does not

> Brown with his second drop of the game, both of which would have given his fantasy owners much joy

> 3rd and 5 and save four points is a sack from a 3-man rush, because Cox really wants to be the only member of this team to go to the Pro Bowl

> K Chandler Catanzaro connects from 28, and it's Red 10, Green 3, and Technically Still A Game

> Kelly's offense is faster than ever, mostly because they rarely play with a lead and go into Detention Mode any more, and even when they do, they don't sustain drives

> Mathews goes 2 for 4, then Bradford takes the 5-yard checkdown for the speedy three and out that is why this is offense and personnel is a joke

> P Donnie Jones with a decent effort, and it's on the defense to make a stop, when they haven't all night, to keep it a single possession game

> Three and out as Red doesn't get a DPI flag on CB EJ Biggers, shocking on several levels, as Biggers had good coverage and also didn't get flagged

> Mathews for 20 and the first good running play of the game for Green

> Bradford for a scrambly 4, then hits Matthews for a first, and there's no doubt that he's feeling more in tune

> Bradford missed a free play, but redeemed himself with a 22-yard TD to Ertz as Red's defense got confused with 10 players, and stumbled to boot

> This offense can look good when the defense is outnumbered

> Tie game after a made PAT, and heh, Green keeps getting lucky

> Arians wanted a timeout before that play, but, um, nope

> Third and 3 and get off the field with a chance to take the actual lead against a good team is Palmer to Fitzgerald, of course, for 19

> Down 2 DBs now with Rowe out, the defense is entirely on the pass rush

> Biggers with good coverage on a deep ball, then WR Michael Floyd drops a ball on contact; CB Byron Maxwell has to come off

> Third and 10 and good Lord please get a sack is Brown's third drop of the half, and Palmer is throwing darts

> Bradford misses Ertz, then a murder slant to Matthews for five

> 3rd and 5 and keep the ball please is Bradford missing Matthews, and that's not exactly the possession you needed

> PR Patrick Peterson with the near butt fumble, but Red recovers

> Palmer to Floyd for cottony 15 against Maxwell's absurd cushion

> Johnson for 53 yards on a play where the entire defense fails to tackle and wrap up, and while it was a hell of a run by the rookie, the back up DBs made him look like Peak Marshawn Lynch

> Red 17, Green 10, and that's the kind of play that tells you a team isn't ready for prime time, even if they keep getting flexed into it

> KR Josh Huff with a nice return to his own 44

> Matthews with a terrible drop and deflection, luckily not a pick

> Huff for 8, then play action to TE Brent Celek, in no way open, but a perfect back shoulder throw and catch for 21; lucky and good

> Sproles for 3, then Ertz for 6 on play action; tempo on third and short is Sproles on the right flip to move the sticks

> Bradford to Sproles for 5 despite pressure, then the mini-RB gets 2, with actual clock moving to maybe end the half

> Ertz stopped just short of the sticks, and instead of a tempo chance to convert, the refs stopped everything to measure

> Green timeout on fourth and inches, Kelly goes for it and ye gads, Kind Of A Big Play; Red calls timeout as well

> Green down to 2 available CBs, so, um, Not Good

> Kelly runs it up the gut with Mathews, it fails miserably, and no part of that made sense

> NBC wants to make this about DeMarco Murray, because whatevs, he's not converting that idiot play call and botched execution either

> Red drives the ball 40 yards after the fourth down fail, and wind up with 300 yards at the half, because they are, shh, a lot better

> Half ends with Palmer running away from pressure, and Green gets the second half kick, so technically still a game

> Bradford to WR Riley Cooper for 15 with some nice hand fighting for YAC by the big overpaid racist goof

> Mathews for 5, then Ertz misses a short cross that's lucky not to be a pick

> Third and 5 and keep the game manageable is a batted ball and this is in the realm of going away

> Jones to the 12 for a curious fair catch by Peterson

> Johnson for 6, then a wildly open cross to Brown who finally holds on for 19

> Floyd for 5 on a bubble, then Johnson for 19 as Red just pancakes several guys, and LB Kiko Alonso is useless

> Cox makes a play to set up 3rd and 2, and it's kind of the last play of actual drama, as Floyd makes an insane catch, with the play standing up to review

> Johnson walks in, and that should be your ball game: Red 24, Green 10

> Bradford with a pretty great play on third and long from his end zone to Huff to convert

> Cooper converts a third down before fumbling, so thank heavens for small moments

> Murray's first carry of the game, for the thrilling yard

> Bradford to Ertz for the nice play action moment, and another first

> Philly Fan is offically done with Murray, and no one can blame them, really

> Matthews with a long cross and YAC to convert another first

> Play action and offensive line fails, blind side strip sack of Bradford, and yeah, um, good night

> Johnson for a yard against a run blitz, Floyd with a drop, Palmer off for a snap with a bad finger

> QB2 Drew Stanton nearly throws a bad pick on a deep ball, and I guess it's still a game, especially if Palmer isn't right

> Mathews for 4, then 8, it's nice when the RB can run

> Ertz for 17, points notwithstanding, might be Bradford's best game

> Mathews fumbles, and yeah, none of Kelly's imported running backs are good

> It doesn't help when you have the worse team to also turn it over a bunch

> Palmer to Johnson, seems fine if a little gross, first down

> Patrick Peterson decided to dance on the sideline, because, um, whatevs

> Brown with the catch and spin for the score, and I think he was whistling Sweet Georgia Brown at Biggers during the move

> Red 30, Green 10, outclassed at every position

> Pick six for Bradford, and we are oficially in Chuckle Mode

> First really bad play by Bradford and a shame that this is going to be on the highlight reel, because he's played well otherwise

> Bradford to Matthews for a 77-yard score on a coverage breakdown, and at least the QB took a hit for some reason; 20 point game with the rest of the fourth quarter to play

> Defense can't get the three and out on Red just running it with Johnson, because their OL is just that good, and the back is also solid

> Palmer sacked by LB Connor Barwin to make it still within the realm of possibility, as NBC notes that the game means nothing to them; actual Marcus Smith sighting near the QB is officially exciting

> Bradford to Huff for 16, then Ertz gets hurt yet again while trying to get out of bounds, because we can't have nice things

> Bradford to Celek moves the sticks again, then misses Agholor deep, lucky not to be picked

> Agholor is never open, but makes up for it by having poor hands and bad maturity

> Tipped ball on second as S Tyrone Mathieu is all over the field

> Checkdown to Sproles for 6, setting up 4th and this could end it

> Bradford misses Matthews, and that's the end of all drama

> With three minutes left, Palmer was still in the game, throwing to Fitzgerald, while up 20 points, so, um, yeah, Arians officially wants Kelly fired

> Red figgie, Bradford with another pick but with Mathieu getting hurt, and ye gads, Arians is paying a price for trashing Kelly

> The safety walks it off, 4th Green turnover to 0 for Red, and yup, that's what happens when physically overmatched teams play dominant teams

> Kneeldowns, 12-win season for Red, and as ugly as this was, It Just Doesn't Matter if they beat DC next Saturday

> I'd like to initiate investigations against NBC for flexing this game to prime time

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