|We're SO Due! Arm Up!|
But honestly, people, I thought we had gone through this already. We are totally fine, as a culture, with as many people that are killed by guns as we can get. We don't care if they are kids, disabled, church goers, college students, police officers, suspects... we don't care.
We like guns more than people. Any kind of people, really. But to be fair, we also probably like pets, our mobile phones, our iPods and our cars more than we like people.
People kinda suck. They are in the way, and some of them try to make us feel bad about liking guns, or from getting as many as we want, whenever we want, because individual people never go crazy and have the ability to use those guns to kill an astounding amount of people.
Nothing is going to stop us from getting more and more guns. Every time someone kills a bunch of people with them, the sales go up. Mostly because the people who buy guns are easily scared, which is why they buy so many guns in the first place.
It doesn't matter that 85% of gun owners support common sense stuff like background checks; we have guns to sell, and that might slow some of that down. It doesn't matter that not selling to people on the freaking terrorism watch list sounds so obvious that it seems like a joke; we're going to do that, too, because we've got guns to sell.
It doesn't matter that the country that is most like ours on the planet, Australia, had the exact same problem 15 years ago, but somehow manned up, destroyed their guns, and haven't had any real issues like this since. We have images of sheep and signs about wolves and directives to do the same thing we've been doing all along, only harder, because harder means we get to sell more guns. Really cool guns.
It doesn't matter that we are not even allowed, as a people, to get better data about the number of people killed in this country by guns. For 20 years, Congress has kept the Center for Disease Control from conducting research into gun violence. Because this entire phenomenon is nothing at all like the outbreak of a disease.
It doesn't matter that all of the myths of good guys with guns are bullspit, and that people who are armed during active shooter situations are likely just to make things worse. It doesn't matter that the real reason why we all want guns, which is that we all want an easy tool to kill ourselves when the Big Sad happens, or how much we dream about being able to kill someone and be totally justified and given the legal thumbs up and a high five from a cop, because killing people gives us big stiffies, and the idea that the ending of our lives might be snuffed out by something as stupid and random as some asshat with a gun...
Well, not if we shoots him first. Which we totally will, if only we buy the right gun and be super manly about using it.
There is nothing that will make this situation better. More and more of us will die this way every year, with the spread of deaths more or less random, because there are already so many goddamned guns out there, and all you need is an asshat rural district that sells them in bulk to take care of all of those cities that don't.
Happy Holidays! Buy a gun. Buy lots. It's who we are, and will always be. Until we die, probably by gunshot. Fun!