Sunday, January 3, 2016

Eagles - Giants Diary

Best Coach Ever
> HC Pat Shurmur has to convince a skeptical fan base that a guy who was hired by the Browns and spells his last name with that many U's can do, well, anything

> Blue HC Tom Coughlin is coaching his last game, which means our last chance to see him turn red in the face at the refs or an Eli Manning INT

> Bradford misses on a crossing route as no one looks very enthused, then connects with RB Ryan Mathews for the World's Worst Screen for 7 yards

> Third and 3 is slower than usual from the gun, then the obvious correct throw to RB Darren Sproles to move the sticks

> Blue is not exactly a scary defense

> TE Brent Celek for 14 on a very simple play action screen, and then RB DeMarco Murray goes for 54 and a score as every fantasy player that owned him under Kelly punches his television

> Longest run of the season, possibly career, for Murray, as the Blue defense could not have looked less interested

> K Caleb Sturgis hits the PAT, then the kickoff through the end zone, so STs are better without Kelly, too

> RB Rashad Jennings for 5, then QB Eli Manning to WR Odell Beckham for 12, and this just in, the WR is very good

> Jennings for 4, then 5 more, as the run defense is threadbare as usual

> Pitch to Jennings for the easy first down, and neither defense seems to give more than a preseason worth of caring

> Manning with all day, finally throws it away on pressure from LB Brandon Graham

> Pressure again on second before a Jennings checkdown for 3

> Manning scrambles for a first, but the play is offset by bad hands on both sides

> Third and keep points off the board sees Manning try WR Rueben Randle, but the WR bobbles before landing, and that's a stop

> P Brad Wing collects a low snap and drops it on a bounce at the Eagles 2, and if anyone cared very much about this game, that would be a mistake by Spoles

> Mathews for a yard, tempo, then the world's worst screen gets the first down, but RT Jason Peters with a trip that's nearly a safety

> Not sure why that's a flag, but what the hell, Peters is already going to the Pro Bowl for no good reason

> Swing pass seven yards deep in the end zone to RB Kenjon Barner, yeesh

> Third and 8 is pre-snap movement by Blue, makes matters much easier

> Third and 3 is Bradford to WR Jordan Matthews, who lets it go right through his freaking hands, rather than going for a major gain

> The Eagles lead the NFL in dropped pases, which is another point in the favor of the Bradford is better than we think camp

> P Donnie Jones to the Eagles 47, not a great kick, but with Beckham back, not the worst result

> Manning to TE Will Tye, as the Green DBs mistake shoving for tackling

> Jennings for 9, then 5, and as always, a patient attack will work wonders against these slugs

> In the red zone against the NFL's worst defense, Manning misses the open WR (Myles White) against S Malcolm Jenkins

> Manning to RB Shane Vereen as it takes a while for the clueless Green blitz to overrun the screen

> From the 5, Vereen for a yard, then pre-snap changes before Manning tries White against S Walter Thurmond; nice play by the DB

> Third and goal is Manning to no one, and I have no idea what the plan was there

> K Josh Brown connects as their coaching staff complains for some reason, and the Matthews drop only cost three points, I guess

> KR Josh Huff to the 15, not realizing that high kicks at the edge of his end zone are not good gambles

> Murray on the useless stretch play that loses four, and yeah, he still can't do that

> Matthews on the obvious bubble screen for seven, compensating for the previous drop

> Sproles for 13, converting the long third down with a run through a big hole

> Bradford misses Huff on an open slant, then connects with TE Zach Ertz for 60 yards down the middle

> Longest catch of Ertz's career, and I'm just amazed he didn't drop it or fumble at the close

> In the red zone, Sproles with the easy conversion, and it sure helps to run this offense against a terrible defense

> Sturgis connects, and it's 14-3 Green

> Another touchback, and I suspect there's some wind at play

> Jennings for 35, as the Eagle LBs are just awful

> Shurmur tries and fails to challenge, and it's a break that it didn't get out

> Jennings twice to set up third and 1, then converts on tempo, and if Blue had used him this way all year, they wouldn't be in this mess

> Manning tries Tye and misses with LB Mychal Kendricks in position for once, then Jennings picks up another 21, and good lord, is this run defense genuinely terrible now

> After the first quarter break, Jennings for 5, then Manning missing off a bootleg

> Third and five and make Blue fail in the red zone again is a sack for LB Marcus Smith, and good God in Heaven, his first good NFL play

> Brown connects from 30, and it's Green 14, Blue 6

> Touchback at the front corner of the end zone, then Mathews for nothing

> Bradford to Ertz for 12, looking like he just could do this all day

> Tempo to Mathews for 3, then a deflection and pick for Blue, just about the only way the defense is getting a stop

> DE Jason Pierre-Paul used his un-mangled hand to make the tip

> Manning to Randle for 22 as the DBs don't get close enough

> Third time in the red zone might see some actual running plays this time, with Jennings for 5

> Manning to Tye, shrugs off Kendricks and scores, and if a player on this team has regressed more than Kendricks, I haven't seen it

> Blue takes the kick PAT, and it's 14-13 Green

> Touchback, then World's Worst Screen to Barner for 2

> Inside give to the useless duck for nothing, and a new coach can race to a 3 and out, too

> Third and keep the ball is Bradford to Matthews, who makes a good catch for once for 25; really good ball from the QB, too

> Barner for 5 on inside jukery, then takes punishment for 2 on an outlet

> Third and 3 is long clock and a nice catch in traffic by Matthews again to move the chains

> World's Worst Screen to Sproles for a yard, then Matthews for four on misdirection

> Third and 5 and get a figgie chance is Sproles for 7, as Blue keeps not getting that Green will run on longer distances than expected

> Bradford knocked down by Pierre-Paul, and if your QB telegraphs so many throws, this is going to happen

> Bradford misses WR Nelson Agholor off play action, then gets Ertz to move the sticks; Green is now 7 of 8 on the money down

> Murray for a loss of a yard, then finds Ertz at the Blue 3 for another 19 yards; good throw into a zone pocket

> From the 4, it's Murray for a loss, so yeah, that earlier scoring burst was a fluke

> Bradford to Matthews, who finally doesn't score in garbage time, and that's an absurdly long drive as the WR proceeds to yell his fool head off afterwards

> 17 plays in 6:23, longest drive of the year on both counts

> Manning on a long play for the cross-field checkdown, and Blue is doing favors with the running plays

> DT Beau Allen can't get off the field fast enough for a cheap five, then Jennings for the first

> Run blitz for a stop, with LB Kiko Alonso actually making a play and everything

> Manning to Tye for 9, then Blue runs clock to the 2 minute warning

> Vereen runs through arm tackles to convert, because why wouldn't he

> Vereen for 13, then 12, then 15, as simple as it gets, CB EJ Biggers roasted over and over

> Manning tries Beckham on Biggers and misses, then Jennings for 11 as Blue remembers, right Running Plays Work

> Jennings for a yard, use a timeout, then to the 1 after more poor tackling; he has 115 already

> Third and goal and have the best game ever in the red zone for this group of turds is Jennings up the middle, easy as it gets

> Blue PAT, and it's 21-20 Green

> This franchise better pray that Jordan Hicks comes back next year and is a world saver, because nothing else in the middle is worth a damn

> Bradford takes a knee, and that's the half

> DT Fletcher Cox stops Jennings as Fox goes into Coughlin Mode

> Tye through terrible tackling for a first, then Jennings for 20 as Jenkins et al don't tackle

> Jennings for two, Allen making an actual play and all

> Manning tries WR Hakeem Nicks deep, which is never a good idea, and CB Eric Rowe has one of the worst WRs in the NFL blanketed

> Third and 8 for points is Manning to Randle, and the defense showed blitz, rushed 3, and tackled like it was a team or something

> Coughlin punts, with Wing dropping it at the 3 again

> The punter's post-kick golf shot celebration reminds us all what everyone on the field will be doing on Tuesday

> Mathews with a burst and fumbles after hitting the turf, with Coughlin tossing out a useless challenge flag for old time's sake

> Bradford to Ertz off play action for 21, with Blue S Brandon Meriwether going down

> Coverage sack and Peters gives up pressure for a 6 yard loss, then a Sproles screen for 15

> Third and 1 from their own 40 is Murray for 3 yards, some patience and decent blocking by the WRs

> Murray fumbles on the next play after an outside run, because he's just that god damned useless

> From the Green 45, Manning to Randle, touchdown against S Walter Thurmond

> Blue 27, Green 21, and the dream of a road game in London and a softer schedule is alive

> Touchback, and Murray for nothing, because we need to get the confidence back from a sunk cost

> Ertz for 3 on an awkward cross, then 3rd and 7 and stop the avalanche is incomplete to Matthews on tight coverage

> Jones punts to Beckham on a bounce, makes one man miss, but not more

> RB Andrew Williams in to keep the easy offense moving for five, then Beckham pirouettes for seven and a first

> Williams for four, and four more, as the defense can't stop a run-only slow power back against a middling offensive line

> From the gun, Green shows blitz and gets a false start on Beckham

> Third and seven outside of figgie range is Manning to Beckham, blitz in rumor only, for 24 on a cotton-soft cross

> Jennings for 4, then Beckham draws holding on Biggers for another first

> Manning pressured by Barwin and picked by Thurmond, who goes the distance, with White nearly making a saving tackle

> 83 yard turn and score, and yeah, bit of a changer there

> Green 28, Blue 27 in the battle of who could care less

> Touchback as Stugis continues his good day, then Jennings for 15 as Alonso is horrible

> Jennings for 5, having a career day as so many have against this defense in the second half of the year

> Manning to Nicks for ease, then Jennings for nothing on a delay

> A drop by Jennings on a checkdown, then 3rd and 10 from outside figgie range is Manning from an empty backfield, a give to Vereen for an old play call

> Coughlin punts as Manning looks disgusted, with Wing continuing his good day with a drop at the 7

> Barner for a yard on the stretch retch play, and that's the third quarter

> Bradshaw to Barner, moves the sticks despite pressure from Pierre-Paul

> Barner for 8 up the middle, then the world's worst screen for a yard

> Third and keep the ball is a bubble screen to Agholor, who shows some strength and moves the sticks

> Murray for 4, mild Detention Mode, then a yard on those inner runs that also don't work real well

> Third and 5 with points possible soon is long clock, then Bradford to TE Brent Celek, perfect ball and a good catch on tight coverage for 24

> Bradford to TE3 Trey Burton for 5, then Ertz for 4, just before the sticks

> Third and short is Barner, because the defense is worn down enough that power works even with scatbacks

> Bubble screen by Agholor, shows a real burst and gets to the 3 with likely concussions as an end result

> Both men leave, and Bradford goes to Matthews again, 8 for 8 on that drive against fourth stringers

> Sturgis connects, Green 35, Blue 27

> Somehow not intentional grounding on first, Jennings for five

> Third and 5 and keep the pedal down is Manning to Tye as the QB eludes pressure; S Ed Reynolds can't get close enough

> Jennings for 3, then Randle for 8, such a soft defense

> Jennings for 5, then Manning misses Beckham down the field against a blitz, was wide open with a mild drop

> Third and 5 is Manning to Beckham, simple roll out and completion, everything is pre-season easy in this game

> Nicks for 5, Green playing defense as if they were up 20

> Jennings ended by Graham on a running play, which was nice

> Third and 7 in long figgie range is a throw into double coverage, with Thurmond and Jenkins stopping Randle in the end zone

> Coughlin elects to try the figgie, and Brown makes from 48 with 4:30 left

> Green 35, Blue 30

> Touchback as Green looked prepped for an onside kick

> Ertz for 9, Murray for 5, Detention Mode in effect

> Matthews in traffic for six yards and pain, then a Green timeout

> Bradford to Ertz for 14, just open all day against these back ups

> Second Blue timeout, then Murray takes it to the two minute mark

> Murray loses 2 on an awkward exchange, and this game is still worth losing; final Blue timeout

> Third and 8 from the Blue 43 has all kinds of kill shot opportunities, and off good protection against a blitz, Bradford hits WR Riley Cooper off his hands inside the five

> No clock movement there, of course, and just not the WR to put the game on the line

> Green takes a timeout for no good reason, considering that your defense might get gassed later

> Jones to the end zone as the ball bounces past Beckham, and the job just got easier for Blue

> Vereen for 11, clock runs, Vereen for 6, clock runs

> Nicks drops a sideline fly, had all kinds of room

> Incomplete to Vereen against pressure, and it's fourth and 3

> Second kill shot down opportunity is Beckham for 4, game still live

> Manning spikes with 43 seconds left, then grounds it on pressure from Smith

> Pressure on third, short to White

> Third kill shot opportunity is fourth and 10, and it's broken up by Kendricks, of all people, for the win/loss

> Green goes 7-9, 1-0 without Nero Kelly

> By winning the last week against New York, the Eagles get a harder schedule and a worse draft pick, just like last year

> Assuming he doesn't get the gig, Shurmur will be, by the percentages, the best football coach in Eagles history

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