9) When the case of beer starts talking to you, isn't that a sign that you should stop drinking?
8) Isn't the fact that the VW kids are texting ways to cheat kind of too much on brand right now?
7) Did Bud Light pay Amy Schumer as much for her soul as they did Seth Rogan, or was this one of those 70% things?
6) Given that CBS spent much of the first half talking about how Microsoft Surface tablets didn't work, did they get a refund on the cost of their ad campaign?
5) When you call a truck military grade, doesn't that just mean it's astoundingly expensive and sourced to have jobs in hundreds of congressional districts, so that it can't ever be killed?
4) Is Watson going to end humanity now, or do we have another week?
3) Will the feeling that the Ford Fusion helps me recapture from my youth cause nausea?
2) How much of the joy of cola is the joy of diabetes?
1) Does all of Pizza Hut's "food" leave trails of ooze, in all manifestations?