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9) Is Joe Montana now homeless, and keeping all of his money in change form in his terrible khakis?
8) Will eating Taco Bell cause sentience in inanimate objects, or just anthropomorphic delusion?
7) Did talking to Eric Dickerson shorten Walter Payton's life?
6) Is anyone really worried about trending or social media when eating a potato chip?
5) Do Fiat drives enjoy making groundhogs scream?
4) Does Verizon explain everything with colorful balls?
3) Why would the price of quasi-chicken, quasi-food cause a politician to laugh nervously?
2) Is an ad during an NFL game the best proof yet that Bleacher Report ripped off its writers?
1) Does Todd Gurley train by using children as ballast?