Sunday, January 17, 2016

Top 12 Seahawks - Panthers Takeaways

Yay, My Minions Succeeded
12) There is no true twelfth takeaway, because the game wasn't in Seattle

11) The win means that America either gets to root for joyless hard-ass bucket o' crap Jerry Richardson (right) or the eternal walking manure pile that is Bill Bidwell, but it's not like there are many owners in the NFL that you don't want to see impaled

10) When Joe Buck tells you a game is a long way from over, it's really hard to think it's anything but over

9) If this was Marshawn Lynch's last game in a Seahawks uniform, he'll be very fresh for his next team

8) Carolina started running out of children to give touchdown balls to in the first half

7) If Seattle elected to kick a field goal when down huge in the first half, the end of this game would have been a lot more interesting

6) Starting this game at 10am PST is a fine and pointless excuse for Seattle air-mailing the first half

5) Jonathan Stewart coming back from injury makes the Carolina running attack a lot more intriguing, because Cameron Artis-Payne is secretly from that Key and Peele name skit

4) If the Panthers had Kelvin Benjamin healthy all year, they might be really good, instead of just 16-1

3) As good as the Panther front seven is, it's still less than encouraging when you have to count on Kurt Coleman in coverage

2) This game saw a very large serving of Good Russell Wilsona and Bad Russell Wilson, but if you are a Seahawk Fan, he's still got to be your favorite QB ever (and it's not close)

1) If Seattle had completed the comeback, we might, as a nation, finally gotten past the scourge of Sad Michael Jordan Meme

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