Sunday, January 10, 2016

Top 20 Steelers - Bengals Takeaways

Tiger Tears
20) You know it's a dull first half when social media can't stop talking about Andy Dalton, not playing in the game, wearing a hood on the sideline as Cosplay Star Wars Emperor

19) Cincy was called for a high hit when WR Markus Wheaton dropped his head down to his shoulder, because no one knows what a tackle is any more

18) Later on, Gio Bernard was concussed by an obvious spear that caused a fumble, because LOL NFL

17) Steelers coach Mike Munchak picked up a 15-yard flag for pulling the hair of a Bengal player, and this game was so insane, no one will remember it at all

16) After only 104 minutes of football today, the home team scored

15) Playing running back for the Steelers is only slightly less dangerous than playing drums for Spinal Tap, but they've all been great

14) For a blisfful period of time, technical issues kept Jim Nantz and Phil Simms from the world

13) God peed on Bengal Fan all night, for cause

12) The 2015 Steeler defense took a long time to show up tonight, but when they did, they were horrible as usual

11) Had this game ended with two minutes left on the clock, Vontaze Burfict would be one of the greatest heroes in Bengal history

10) The Bengals weren't smart enough to realize that Ben Roethlisburger couldn't throw it more than 15 yards after his injury

9) There's no way that the Steelers win next week if Antonio Brown isn't able to pass the concussion protocol

8) The Bengal crowd showered an injured player with garbage, so, yeah, um, karma

7) How Jeremy Hill doesn't secure the ball with less than two minutes left is one of those True Bengal moments

6) You've never seen a game go from boring to opera to snuff film to torture porn to

5) Somehow, Dalton will be blamed for all of this

4) As much as everyone can and should bury Pac Man Jones for his extra 15 yards, the game winning figgie was going to be good from distance

3) The Bengals now have the longest playoff winless streak in NFL history, and Lewis has been at the helm for 87.5% of it

2) Brian Hoyer is so glad this game was so notable, because it's going to make it so much easier to forget his career implosion

1) If Bengals coach Marvin Lewis keeps losing first round games like this, and add to his historic 0-7 playoff record with embarrassing defeats and disgusting spectacles, he might not have a job in another five to ten years

2 comments:

Snd_dsgnr said...

What are your thoughts on Joey Porter being on the field talking to Bengals players? Because I thought the penalty on Burfict was totally legit, but that there should have been offsetting penalties on Jones and Porter.

Also, and I get that this doesn't speak well of me, Roethlisberger is on a very short list (him and Greg Hardy, basically) of players that I'm ok with having trash thrown at him after an injury. At least so long as that injury is clearly not life threatening, which it wasn't.

DMtShooter said...

Roethlisberger's crimes are enough in the rear view window that I've mostly forgotten about them. I doubt Bengal Fan considered that before letting fly. But you've got a point.

As for Porter on the field, yeesh. What a crapfest.

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