Thursday, June 23, 2016

Top 10 takeaways from the 2016 NBA Draft

Trust The Sign Process
10) Jalen Rose did most of his draft prep by looking up the career earning of comps that only basketball nerds remember, which is in no way indicative of his own NBA career

9) Boston will win the NBA Championship just as soon as the Association makes teams play all 15 guys

8) Milwaukee drafted Thon Maker in the top 10, despite concerns about his uncertain age and that his last name means Tuna in French

7) The ESPN telecast officially marked the end of the use of the word "wingspan" for anything other than comedy

6) Kris Dunn went to Minnesota, leading some to wonder how Andrew Wiggins will transition to small forward, as if Ricky Rubio doesn't suck out loud

5) Dragan Bender went 4th overall, because the NBA is so much about physical potential and getting the next Porzingis that it doesn't matter that a guy couldn't get playing time in the Israeli League

4) Buddy Hield went to New Orleans and Wade Baldwin to Memphis to be the new Eric Gordon and Mike Conley, which probably offended the hell out of the old Eric Gordon and Mike Conley

3) Boston Fan freaked out over drafting Ante Zizic at the 23rd pick, as if stashing an athletic big man late in the first isn't pretty much a total Spurs move

2) By the time you finished reading this, another foreign guy got drafted, much to the chagrin of Americans in the Green Room who look like kids in detention

1) Jerry Colangelo showed that it's a new era in Philadelphia by refusing to take guys who might play in the NBA next year, ensuring another year of Ish Smith / TJ McConnell / Isiah Canann / Hollis Thompson / Clawing Our Eyes Out Because The Last Good Guard On The Roster Might Have Been Andre Freaking Iguodala

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