Sunday, October 16, 2016

Eagles - Slurs Diary / Takeaways

That, Or An Eagles Fan
> First snap of the game and we've got protection issues, a sack, and a holding flag -- not exactly a great start to the Halapoulivaati Vaitai Era

> RB Ryan Mathews for 10 to make third down manageable, then RB Wendell Smallwood off the quasi-draw as Red sells out for pressure

> Loss of 2 with Smallwood, then another sack, this one for LB Ryan Kerrigan, and at this rate, QB Carson Wentz is going to be naked by the end of the game

> Kerrigan is DC's best defensive player, and he's involved in both sacks, kind of a nightmare prediction

> Vaitai looks completely outclassed, and then next ten weeks of Not Lane Johnson is looking dicey at best

> Wentz takes WR Jordan Matthews for 12 yards of they'll give that up, and it's punt time

> Weak work by P Donnie Jones, but the coverage is solid

> Pressure on QB Kirk Cousins causes a fluttery underthrow, then a not much run by a not much RB (Chris Thompson)

> 3rd and 9 and get off the field with some purpose is long clock and a supremely easy out to WR DeSean Jackson for 11

> CB Jalen Mills with the lack of break, and that was far too easy; DJ celebrates in his usual understated way

> Obvious holding at the line not called as Red tries a deep ball; Mills gets a defensive holding flag because why the hell not

> RB Matt Jones for 2 as LB Nigel Bradham closes with violence

> Pressure doesn't get there, and Cousins only has eyes for DJ; 6 yards on the out

> 3rd and 2 and somehow get off the field against a power set is a drop by WR Ryan Grant, and that's a big break

> First time today that we're going to be grateful for a lack of TE Jordan Reed; probably not the last

> Slurs punter Tress Way puts it into the end, and phew

> Wentz misses Matthews on an intermediate route; WR was open, but high pressure makes things too difficult

> Mathews for no gain, line getting beaten on every snap

> 3rd and 10 and stop the bleeding is a perfect ball to Matthews, who can't get his feet down; Wentz did everything possible on that, again with pressure

> Jones gets off a good one, Slurs PR Jameson Crowder makes a man miss, much flags on a clip, and nice change of field position there

> Pressure, drop, holding; Slur offense not exactly lighting it up so far, either

> Bradham with a knock down on a week effort by Cousins, then a middling draw by Thompson, as Slur Fan gets annoyed

> 3rd and 18 and keep the field position is Crowder for 16 against a 4-0-7 defense; nearly a disaster play from an extreme prevent formation

> Way gives Sproles a chance, and he does a little with it; Green winning the battle of field position, which isn't an actual battle

> Mathews for 4 with actual sane play-calling, then Smallwood for 3

> Third and 3 and We Need Points Dammit has Wentz draw an offsides for the first; Eagle Fan cheers suspiciously loud

> Play action does what it should, and Wentz is high to Matthews, who almost one hands it, but heaven forbid the WRs on this team make big plays

> Mathews for 4 to get it in Slur Territory, then 3rd and 6 is empty set (rut roh) and a fade route to Matthews for no chance

> This WR crew is going to be the biggest reason why this team's got no margin for error

> Jones to the 15 with the weak punt, but a chop block by Marcus Smith on a Who Knew That Was A Penalty Play ruins that

> Encroachment to continue the pattern of All Flags Are Green, then Cousins has Jackson open and deep for 35 yards

> Gosh, it must be nice to have a WR with such elite level speed; only an idiot franchise would let a guy like Jackson just go for nothing

> RB Matt Jones through a big hole as the defense looks shaken

> Slurs in the red zone in a hurry, and Crowder is wide open for the kitten-soft score against CB Nolan Carroll

> S Malcolm Jenkins also didn't really do much on that play, and yeah, the last two weeks is reminding us a lot about why hopes for the laundry weren't very high coming into the year

> Mathews for 5, then Matthews on a screen for the first, and that's the first quarter

> TE Trey Burton off play action as Wentz shows quality for 7 yards, then Kurrigan owns Vaitai for the third time in 16 minutes

> Why the Eagles are failing to give Vaitai help, we will never know

> 3rd and 9 is incomplete with multiple WRs in the zone, and no OL is doing their job right now

> Jones to the 10 for a fair catch of 50 yards, and unless the defense makes some plays soon, this is going to get ugly

> Jones loses 2 as DT Bennie Logan penetrates, and the line look challenged on that play

> Cousins takes WR Pierre Garcon for 5 on a cross

> 3rd and 7 and keep field position and a chance at stopping the avalanche is Cousins keeping it and getting the first as pursuit overruns him; just bad work by the defense

> RB Robert Kelly for 44 game breaking yards, with S Rodney McLeod taking him down by the hair

> Kelly for 5, and the Slurs found themselves a RB; short of mistakes, this game is over

> Thompson for 10 as the run defense is the next to fail

> Cousins to Jackson for 4 on the out, then Kelly for a yard as Jenkins finally makes a play

> 3rd and 5 and prevent obvious embarrassment is Cousins from the gun to TE Vernon Davis, who makes a great catch and taunts, because why not

> Slurs 14, Eagles 0, and with the way the offensive line is playing, Game Over

> Well, that's useful... Smallwood takes the short kick and runs it right the hell back, as Smith and TE Brent Celek do the work, and the STs make a big play

> K Caleb Sturgis with the PAT, and it's 14-7 with a pulse shown

> Only problem with that sort of thing is that your gassed and suddenly terrible defense goes right back on the field, but hey, points is points

> Fox goes into full blame Vernon Davis Mode, as if taunting weren't a ridiculous rule

> False start on Garcon, Thompson for 1, then Cousins to Thompson for 6

> 3rd and 8 and get back in the game is Cousins from the gun, blitz doesn't get there, Carroll runs through Garcon for obvious DPI, and Christ, what happened to the defense that stuffed the Steelers?

> Crowder loses 10 on an end-around as LB Mychal Kendricks closes nicely, but the Slurs are victimized by a bad call

> No pressure, Cousins finds Crowder for 22 and a first down, and this defense is just hot garbage right now

> Cousins off pressure from Smith makes a bad decision, Jenkins breaks on it nicely, and holy crap, that was a gift

> Sturgis connects, and the game is tied

> Curious to see if the Slurs get tentative and/or skittish now

> Jones for 4 as Logan is down; he walks off later, and yeah, he's needed

> Jones for another massive gain of 22, and the LBs and DT Fletcher Cox just look tentative

> Jones for another 6, less than his average today

> Kelly for 7 as I'm not sure why the Slurs would throw it at all right now

> DC has already run for 119 today, and that's with a 10 yard loss that shouldn't have counted

> Thompson for 5 with the requisite two missed tackles

> Jackson drops a touchdown as the WR toasts Mills and Cousins throws it perfectly, but better lucky than good

> Third drop for the Slurs in the half

> 3rd and 5 is a conversion, of course, to Garcon, as the pressure doesn't get there and McLeod is 30 yards deep for no good reason at all

> Cousins has enough time to summarize Proust, then hits Garcon for 14

> From the 4, Cousins misses Davis, with MLB Jordan Hicks distracting

> Mills breaks up a ball to Garcon, showing good bounce-back confidence

> Third and goal from the 4 is Cousins out of the end zone, but Cox is called for playing football the way it used to be played, rather than the way it is played now

> First and goal from the 2 is a bad fade to Garcon, then Thompson is stopped just short of the goal line

> Third and goal from the 1 with 10 seconds left is Jones to left for about the easiest score you'll find in the NFL; Bradham was absolutely pancaked

> Slurs 21, Eagles 14, and so much for the narrative that the Slurs have a red zone problem

> Suffice it to say, this game isn't going to do much for the Eagles time of possession narrative

> Green doesn't onside kick to start the second, which might be a mistake

> Cox jumps offside to start it, and Lord, he's been terrible today

> DT Beau Allen shoots the gap for a loss of three on Jones; encouraging

> Cousins with all day but nowhere to go, in that he wasn't looking at Jackson

> 3rd and 8 and change the feel of the game is Cousins from the gun, easy throw to Garcon for 22, and that's been all damned day

> No pocket contain, no pressure, no coverage, no competence

> Thompson for 2, then 12 more on the easy as hell screen, and the line read the play and still didn't get back

> Thompson for 8, something like the 34th out of 35th play for the Eagle defense

> Jones for 15, defense utterly gassed, linebackers AWOL, etc., etc.

> Jones for 2, and an actual flag on Red to boot

> Face mask on S Ron Brooks to make sure no difficulties will be faced by Red; second time today the defense has gifted a big flag for red zone ease

> Jones for nothing, then a near pick by Jenkins in the end zone, and that's just a drop by the S that he had to have

> 3rd and 10 is an incomplete off actual pressure, and hey, actual competence

> K Dustin Hopkins connects, and Red leads by 10

> Sproles for 6 as the Eagles remember what offense feels like; holding on C Jason Kelce on second down as Sproles goes nowhere

> The semi-weekly Nelson Agholor sighting, as Wentz shrugs off pressure for 15

> 3rd and 2 and need to keep it is Wentz on a keeper, and the kid knew that was necessary

> Smallwood for nothing as the line shows that nothing is getting better

> Wentz tries Smallwood as Kerrigan is there nearly faster than the snap, and I have no idea what Vaitai is doing out there

> 3rd and 11 and keep the QB alive is Wentz making a ridiculous play to fight off all kinds of pressure to get it to WR Dorial Green-Beckham, but the 38 yard play is wiped out on a miserably cheap flag on Smallwood

> Wentz may be the only good player on this offense

> 3rd and 21 and keep the QB alive is a give up screen to Smallwood that gets 15

> Jones to the 14, and he's on the short list of guys who is earning a paycheck today

> Cousins to Garcon for 21, Hicks spinning like a top, DBs not close, lather, rinse, repeat

> Cousins with de facto grounding, Davis with a textbook hold/choke on LB Brandon Graham, refs only call the latter

> Jones for 6, still not sure why they just don't run it all the time

> Green down two defenders (Logan and Smith) as Cousins takes Thompson, Brooks whiffs, Carroll down, 14 yard gain, not sure why I'm still watching

> Eagles are out of CBs, but might not have any when healthy, so it's kind of theoretical

> 3rd and 2 and the Slurs do Green a massive favor by rolling out and throwing it away

> Sproles picks up a bounce and gets it to the 9, so, um, still a game, I guess

> Mathews for 5, too much clock for down 10, then the RB again for 9, and first down number... five!

> Mathews for a yard, end of the third quarter, and yeah, not seeing how Pederson is doing much other than managing this game to not lose his QB

> Wentz from an empty backfield, has time and DG-B is open, but the ball sails and the DB asks for OPI, so, um, yeah

> 3rd and 9 and it might still be a game, I guess, has LT Jason Peters take the flag, because why should Vaitai have all the fun

> 3rd and 14 and Jebus is Wentz with an absolutely perfect ball to Matthews for 54 yards, and the ball is just perfect to a guy that really isn't open

> RB Kenyan Barner on a delay for 6, then a deflected ball that Wentz nearly catches

> 3rd and 4 and have to have it is a weird cross run by Barner that doesn't get it done, and that was overthinking it / we can't block people

> Sturgis from 38 connects, and it's Slurs 24, Eagles 17, and the first offensive points of the day

> Mistake by Thompson to take the kick out of the end zone, big play by S Chris Maragos to pin the Slurs at their 10

> Jones through a run blitz that fails, 13 yards and easy as hell

> Cousins to Davis, Jenkins blows the coverage, no pressure, 37 yards of simple

> Slurs in figgie range after 6 yards for Thompson, missed tackle of course

> Offsides as McLeod walks up too far, free play for the Slurs gets nothing

> 11th flag for 99 yards, and counting

> Timeout by the Slurs for no good reason; 10:41 left in a game that neither team should win

> Jones loses 3 as Hicks does the job, then Cousins misses Jackson in the end zone

> 3rd and 13 is a misfire by Cousins against pressure, and hmm

> Hopkins from 50 is good, because long figgies always work against my laundry, and it's 10 points again, with 9:43 left

> KR Josh Huff with hesitation and a bad decision, but it only costs 4 yards and seconds off the clock, so I guess it could have been worse

> Mathews for 21 as Wentz audibles, then Sproles for nothing as I'm not liking the lack of hurry-up; there's holding to boot, because of course there is; Kelce again

> Wentz to DG-B for 23 of lightning, then finally finds TE Zach Ertz for 22, his first touch of the day

> If the Slur line is too tired to get to the QB, this could get fun

> Sproles for 11, then 1, as Pederson sucks his binkie and forgets that there isn't enough clock yet for running

> Wentz to Agholor to the 5, third and 5 and have to finally score a TD goddamit is too much clock, then... a false start on RB Brandon Brooks, Flag #13

> 3rd and 10 from the 10.5 is Wentz through Ertz's hands, because he's just terrible in the red zone, and the QB should be the only guy who gets beverage service on the trip home

> Sturgis with the figgie, still a game with 5:20 left, but what a crapfest of mistakes this has been

> Sturgis executes the pop up kick, but the STs don't stop it before the 25

> Kelly for a yard as Fox notices the historic performance in penalties for my laundry

> Cousins misses Jackson, dangerous territory, Mills probably gets away with a flag

> 3rd and 9 and dear God let this still be a game is pressure and a throwaway, and an actual three and out by the defense

> Cox and Graham haven't done nearly enough in this game, but they were there on that play

> Sproles gets it to the 30, then curses loud enough to be heard on television, because there might have been a slight chance at more

> All on Wentz with 4:05 left

> Wentz to DG-B, drops it on helmet pressure with no flag, injured DB on the play

> 2nd and 10 is Wentz trying Agholor off pressure, too high, but an actual flag against DC for five and a first

> Wentz tries DG-B, gets hit, sails it out of bounds; line not doing the job yet again

> Long clock, then a draw to Sproles for a disaster yard and loss of clock

> 3rd and 9 and miracle time is Wentz ducking pressure, then finding Agholor for 18, and man alive, is he a player

> Wentz to Sproles for 4, dangerous pressure every play, but the QB is just covering a lot of checks

> The Slurs rush 3, the Eagles don't block it long enough to let Wentz find a man or run it, and that's a huge sack befor the 2 minute warning

> 3rd and 16 from the Eagle 48 is manage the situation by getting something, so Wentz... takes the fifth sack of the day, because sure

> On 4th and 24 with 1:44 left, Pederson elects to punt, probably to keep Wentz alive for another week

> With 1:38 left and 2 timeouts, not really defensible, but neither is the Eagles' idea of pass protection

> Jones for 2, nearly had a lot more, timeout

> Jones for 1, took forever to get down, timeout

> 3rd and 7, last chance time, Jones goes for 57 yards, and that's the most fitting way to end this game

> Eagles drop to 3-2, defense is about as bad as recent memory, DC is alive in the East, and there's still time for this laundry to finish below .500 and have all of the good feelings of the first three weeks go away

> Fourth straight loss to the worst franchise in the division, all of them beyond galling; Cousins should send the Eagles a nice check for the continued mirage that he is an NFL QB

> Other than that, hell of an effort, Green

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