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9) Does Pizza Hut have a security problem that's causing weird guys and aliens to get in their kitchen to finger the workers?
8) If you have the confidence to pack just a single pack of Viagra before your hotel bonefest with the ready to go cougar, doesn't that say you've already got enough confidence to not need the boner pill in the first place?
7) Jeep does know that Cat Stevens, more than partisan politics, inspires violence, right?
6) If you own a Google phone, are you more prone to own a poodle that inspires music about transvestism and prostitution?
5) Can you eat at Burger King without wearing an idiotic paper hat?
4) Is the point of the NFL Shop to infuriate players over how little their sacrifice and accomplishments matter?
3) Why is Clay Matthews seductively butt-creeping around while telling us how great he is?
2) Does owning a Corolla make you prone to loud singing to no one in particular?
1) Hasn't Tom Hanks already made the movie he's in, like, a half dozen times?