Monday, November 28, 2016

Eagles - Packers Diary

I Am An Eagles Fan
> HC Doug Pederson chooses to bench WR Nelson Agholor, AKA the only thing that anyone wanted to talk about this week, as if anyone will miss him in 14 months when he's cut for the minimum cap hit, or as if he'll wind up anywhere else

> While many in the area who wanted to see Agholor keep getting chances, arguing that you risk losing him for good, I personally feel that you can't lose what doesn't actually exist

> On Merrill Reese Hall of Fame Night, the Eagles win the toss and defer, while ESPN craps on Ron Jaworski and his luck

> Touchback instead of trickery, then RB James Starks for a one yard loss as LB Mychal Kendricks cleans up the mess

> QB Aaron Rodgers to WR Jordy Nelson for nearly the first down, then on 3rd and short, play action and way too easy bootleg by Rodgers for the first and 16 yards

> From the Yellow 48, Rodgers to WR Randall Cobb for the bubble screen and whiff; Cobb goes for 12 and another first

> Cobb for another hitter, and this is where I note that I left him on my fantasy bench

> Throw away on 2nd and 4 as Rodgers gets pressured, then connects with TE Jared Cook for another first down; defense not getting there against a make shift offensive line

> From the Green 25, Starks for 4 on a hole that a good back would have gotten a lot more from

> Rodgers from the pistol moves around and runs for another cottony first down, and the defense seems to have missed the memo that Rodgers is mobile

> From the Green 12, easy slant to WR Davonte Adams, six points, and that's about as bad as this defense has looked at home this year

> CB Leodis McKelvin with the terrible coverage, and he's not exactly a strength

> K Mason Crosby connects, and it's Yellow 7, Green 0, visiting legends disgusted

> KR Kenyan Barner doesn't get enough against the league's worst coverage unit as the fun continues

> From the Green 19, QB Carson Wentz takes TE Trey Burton for 9, big clean pocket

> On second and one, Pederson elects for simple conversion, and RB Darren Sproles converts for 2 on a dive

> RB Wendell Smallwood for 2 as the World Wide Lemur notes the OL is even more make shift than usual, thanks to G Ron Brooks taking ill

> From the gun and play action, Wentz to WR Dorial Green-Beckham for 13, and man, Yellow's secondary is, to be Barkley-esque, turrible

> Wentz to WR Jordan Matthews for 8 on a high slant, good hands by the Eagles' best and not very good wideout

> On 2nd and 2, not so simple conversion, as WR Bryce Treggs gets a few on an end around with a massive block by G Allen Barbre on LB Clay Matthews

> Wentz to DG-B for a big gain on a clean play action drop, and all kinds of room for the WR

> Matthews off as Went takes DG-B again on a slant for 6, then on the opposite side to get to the 3

> Sproles to the 1, as S Ha Ha Clinton-Dix is lucky to save the points

> Wentz shows his legs and dives for the goal line for the score; excellent tit for tat

> K Caleb Sturgis connects, and we're tied after 11 minutes of No Defense Monday

> Eschewing the onside, touchback, but maybe I'm just being pessimistic

> Rodgers to RB/WR Ty Montgomery for easy yards out of a complicated backfield, then easy conversion for Starks

> Starks for 2 in what almost passed for defense, then blitz for no effect as Rodgers takes Nelson for 13

> From the Green 48, Nelson for 9 on the bubble screen, and I'm not sure this defense gets a stop tonight without it being a Yellow mistake

> Rodgers misses Nelson on the fly in double coverage, then on 3rd and no one ever gets a stop, it's Starks on the toss sweep for the kitteny soft conversion

> From the Green 31, Rodgers to Cobb for 10 as the Green secondary isn't good enough to even stay close off the line of scrimmage

> Clay Matthews questionable to return as we start the second, then Rodgers hits Adams again for the 20-yard TD right through CB Nolan Carroll's sad little life

> Crosby connects, Yellow 14, Green 7

> QBs so far tonight are 16 for 18 for 179 yards in 15:07 of time, so, um, yeah

> Barner murdered again and starts Green at their own 14

> Wentz to Mathews for 17 as the coverage gets just enough to keep the pocket clean; Barbre gets it done

> Smallwood for 6 on good line violence, then takes another 7 on nice hesitation and a massive hole

> From the Green 44, Smallwood loses two as the line gets handled, then Wentz runs for an ungainly 9 off a lacking blitz

> On 3rd and please Lord don't give Rodgers the ball back, it's uncalled DPI on a throw to Treggs, and that's just another ridiculous non-call at home for my laundry; something of a theme this year

> P Donnie Jones to the Yellow 13 as the crowd boos some combination of the refs, the defense, ESPN or the last 56 years of title-less football

> Montgomery for 2 in a play call that's a favor to Green, then does that instant throw thing to WR Jeff Janis for the beyond easy 8 yards

> 3rd and 1 and what manner will Yellow choose to convert is a QB option because Rodgers isn't making his fantasy owners happy enough

> From the Green 26, Rodgers to Montgomery for 3 as the line is already looking desperate

> Neutral zone infraction and a stopped play as DT Fletcher Cox jumps; lucky the refs took mercy and killed the play

> Actual pressure and a throwaway with LB Marcus Smith getting some heat

> 3rd and 2 and yeah, no actual chance of ever getting off the field without giving up a touchdown is Rodgers to Cobb, S Malcolm Jenkins not up to the task

> Honest, this has been a good defense at times this year

> Starks for 4 on the toss, MLB Jordan Hicks gets on the scorecard

> Yellow flag as Rodgers looks disgusted, and it's Cook with the wiggle

> Starks for 4 on borderline offsides as the line is getting jumpy

> 3rd and 7 is an actual opportunity to get off the field, but Yellow goes 6 for 6 on the slant to Cobb; no one on this team can cover tonight

> Jenkins stops Cobb for no gain as Green finally plays a bubble screen correctly

> Long clock, then all day to throw, deep ball to Nelson isn't close, and maybe that's how you stop Yellow -- give Rodgers enough time to get greedy

> 3rd and 10 with the crowd feigning enthusiasm is Rodgers to Starks off pressure, and LB Nigel Bradham stops him in front of the sticks

> From the Green 45 on 4th down, full clock of pointless pantomime, then a Yellow timeout

> After commerce and a loving montage of Philly Fan Freakout, Yellow punts, with P Jacob Schum dropping it at the one with a ridiculously perfect check up, and after a frustrating replay and burned timeout, it stays there; good grief

> From the Green 1, Peters' league-leading 8th false start, then Smallwood to the 2

> Wentz with a perfect fly to Mathews for 20 yards, nice touch, good catch, terrible CB play, and the WR limps off; joy

> Wentz on the worst play action you've ever seen waltzes back into a massive sack, and we're at the 2 minute warning

> From the Green 8 on 2nd and 24, Wentz to TE Zach Ertz for 13, and that at least makes it possible; Yellow timeout

> 3rd and 11 and dear God keep Rodgers on the sideline is Wentz from the gun, draws an offsides; the rook does that a lot

> 3rd and 6 is easier, and Wentz from the gun evades the blitz for 17 yards of Clay Matthews is Overrated

> From the Green 43, Wentz to Treggs on a cross against the rumor of a blitz, with Sproles doing yeoman pick up work

> From the Yellow 46, Wentz evades pressure but can't avoid a throwaway; line isn't winning, but isn't doing so much that Wentz hasn't handled so far

> Green timeout for some reason with 1:27 left, maybe so they can heal a lineman or six

> Wentz from empty to Ertz for 7, clock burning and only one time out left

> Wentz to DG-B moves the sticks, clock moving

> From the Yellow 35, Wentz holds it too long, and DE Julius Peppers closes for contact and an incomplete

> 41 seconds left, Wentz batted down as CB Quentin Rollins comes ludicrously clean to the QB

> 3rd and 10 and points are not a given from here is a screen to Sproles for 3, and Yellow timeout with 27 seconds left

> K Caleb Sturgis from 49 is a big damned deal, because a miss would give Yellow an easy shot; he connects from 48, which is a relief

> Yellow 14, Green 10 with 25 seconds left in the half

> Wouldn't mind to see some kind of clock burn from the kick, and Sturgis obliges with a ball to the 1; returned to the 16

> With 22 seconds left, Rodgers takes a knee, and that's that; you'd never guess from a 14-10 halftime score just how bad the defenses were

> Thanks to my wonderfully considerate daughter who needs a ride and also to make me wait for her, I miss the entire first drive of the second half, which ends in a Clinton-Dix interception of Wentz as I switch from radio to TV, so yeah, it's my fault

> Also, Wentz was intending for Ertz, who is on my fantasy team, so definitely my fault

> Rodgers with all day, throws to Adams, beating McKelvin, and that's 50 yards in a blink; perfect ball by the QB, and this game looks gone

> RB Christine Michael for 4 into the red zone, then Nelson on the bubble for 3

> 3rd and 3 from the 15 is a prayer of a down for the defense, and Rodgers obliges with a scramble to nowhere and throwaway

> Crosby connects from 32 because no figgie ever misses against my laundry, and it's Yellow 17, Green 10

> Rodgers getting his leg looked at, as if he ever misses game time

> Touchback, then Wentz to Burton for a piddling 2 as Green goes no huddle with no weapons

> Outlet to Sproles for 4 against blitz, then 3rd and 4 to keep the ball is the same things for 8 and the first

> Speed to a Sproles give for 1, and he nearly dies on a big hit; gets right up anyway

> Wentz misses him on a blitz outlet, and this offense is looking absurdly one dimensional

> 3rd and 9 and keep Rodgers in his odd little tent is cross to Ertz for 16; big and useful play

> From the Yellow 44 with tempo, Wentz to Barner, who eats contact and spins for the first

> More tempo to a Barner give for 2, then slower before a drop by Ertz as the crowd loses it

> 3rd and 8 from deep figgie range is another big damned down, and it's Wentz from the gun, batted down as the pressure gets there

> Sturgis from 50 to avoid field position and get the points is dead solid perfect; useful

> Yellow 17, Green 13, still a game if the defense ever shows up

> Touchback, then Starks for nothing as Yellow continues to do running play favors

> Rodgers to FB Aaron Ripkowski for 6 old-time violent yards

> 3rd and 4 and the dream of a three and out would have been achieved, if not for Cox attempting to play football on Rodgers; that's not allowed, and an utter back breaker of a first down

> From the Yellow 46 after the flag gift, it's Starks for 5 as CB Jalen Mills gets some; major profanity on the field mics

> From the Green 49, internal screen and an immediate stop; another short third down that Rodgers will convert, this time on a juggle catch by Nelson over Mills

> No luck for Green

> Rodgers to Cook, ball in the air, falls perfectly for him for 2 yards and more lack of luck

> For some utter asshat reason, Pederson challenges a play that even if overturned, gets him all of two yards; it actually works, but it also means they are out of challenges

> Rodgers screen to Starks, who dallies long enough to let Jenkins stop it; a good back just goes

> 3rd and 5 outside of figgie range, as if Rodgers hasn't converted these all night; no holding call on pressure, easy toss to Starks, first down

> I count three holds on that play, but why not; Yellow now 8 for 10 on third

> DT Beau Allen and Cox stop Starks for no gain as ESPN tells the story that Rodgers is hurt; I call bullspit

> Non-Rodgers runs: 11 for 31 for Yellow

> Yellow has won 28 games while leading after 3, Green has lost 17, so this one's over

> From the Green 26, Rodgers throws it away, and  I guess he does look a little slow on the hamstring

> 3rd and 10 from the gun to Adams, who is Kelly Era open; 23 yards and Carroll is trash

> From the 3, Rodgers gets away with grounding and it's defensive holding on Carroll anyway, so why not; even ESPN buries the call

> From the 2 with no running game, fade to Adams and Sarcasm Cheer for the lack of flag

> Second down, give to Ripkowski, he lurches in as DC Jim Schwartz shows absolutely no imagination, and the DL no push

> Crosby converts, and with 13:50 left, it's 24-14 and damn near done, both game and season

> Touchback, all on Wentz now, with nearly no weapons, against a defense with nearly no NFL players

> From the gun, Sproles for a long gain that comes all the way back for OPI on DG-B, because we can't have nice things, and DG-B has no idea how or when to block

> 1st and 20, this is all Nero Kelly's fault for running off DeSean Jackson and Jeremy Maclin, Wentz to Smallwood for 10

> Long clock because why not, then Wentz misses Burton badly

> 3rd and 10 and beat the traffic home is Wentz aginst a blitz, spins through traffic, gets 15 as a gift on a face mask, and that was all escape

> From the Green 47, screen to Sproles, it's actually blocked legally for once, 17 yards

> Outlet against blitz to Burton for a loss, and the rookie QB makes rookie throws sometimes

> Bad snap by C Jason Kelce leads to a gift sack, and the utter lack of blocking along with the bad snap is all we need to say about this line

> 3rd and 19 from the Yellow 46 is Wentz to Treggs in traffic; he can't hang on to a ball that's behind him, and that's that

> No fake punt or other inventiveness, and beat the traffic, folks: Cobb muffs a fair catch but recovers, because my laundry is just that lucky and bad

> Way past caring flags on Yellow for holding on the punt return, then a run; 10 minutes left if you want to delude yourself

> Draw stopped by S Rodney McLeod; for a breath, I had dreams of safety

> 2nd and 14 with the crowd still there for some reason, Rodgers to Ripkowski to get breathing room and the inevitable back-breaking third down conversion

> This one's third and five, makes Yellos 10 for 12 on the night, and it's achieved with a false start on DE Brandon Graham; go home, people, go home

> 8 minutes left and clock burning away, Starks for 6 on way too much run on an obvious run; defense has been garbage all night, so why change now

> Rodgers to Nelson, QB looks absolutely bored and should be, everything here is as easy as it gets in the NFL

> Starks loses yards, all clock, then timeout at end; 5:51 left and no reason to watch this waste of time

> Rodgers tries Nelson deep for no good reason at all, and the WR can't make the one hand grab; clock stops

> 3rd and 12 and how will Rodgers convert this one is all day to throw, the offensive line never called for holding, Nelson wide open, good night now

> More plays happened, one of them even a penalty for offensive holding just for chuckles

> 3rd and 18 with Rodgers looking like he's going to fall asleep and the stands empty and/or quiet, bubble screen to Adams to run out of bounds for chuckles

> Refs call a delay five seconds after the clock runs out, but it's 12 men on the field because even the Green STs are absolute trash tonight, too

> 4th and 5, Rodgers comes back on for giggles, Yellow timeout, then gadget backfield formation, throw to Nelson, obvious OPI push off, but what the hell

> Nelson is actually laughing about how much he got away with there, as if it mattered

> Runs to the 2 minute warning, and I've had surgeries that were more run to watch than this game

> Crosby connects, 27-13, and assuming the offense hasn't already showered, they get to play again

> Barner to the 12, and yeah, the STs suck now, too

> Wentz in to try to pad his stats, does so on a bullet to DG-B through multiple guys for 24; kid has talent

> Sack for Peppers, sack for DT Nick Perry, and yeah, just so everyone knows, the line is garbage now, too

> 4th and 29 is a give up Sproles checkdown, and that's the season

> Not sure this team wins another game this year, given injury status and utter lack of fight in a must game tonight

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