Sunday, November 6, 2016

Top 10 NFL Week 9 Ad Questions

Screw These People
10) Why does Domino's think that screaming at people about the merits of their product is a way to increase sales?

9) Is there a federal law that states that all pizza ads must have a slow motion cheese stretch?

8) What world does the telecom people think we are living in, where white people talk at the barbershop?

7) Given that pro-Trump ads and anti-Trump ads both involve Trump talking, how would it be possible for this campaign to be anything but repugnant?

6) Is anyone else disturbed by Trying Too Hard Santa shopping for a Fiat with slutty tall elves, since those cars have terrible repair records, and elves should probably not be tall or slutty?

5) Why are people getting into drag races with their families in the car, when they have trees lashed to their roofs?

4) Are Buick owners overly concerned about the sexual habits of their teenaged offspring?

3) Does eating Burger King make you value life so little that you'd hug predators for food that costs less than a dollar?

2) Why would you time a car purchase to Black Friday, given that, um, cars are generally not given as unexpected gifts, and are kind of something the recipient really needs to like?

1) What universe is Polaris by United living in, where independent of the cabin experience, flying isn't a maddening slog, devoid of dignity or human kindness?

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