Thursday, December 8, 2016

FTT Off-Topic: I Have Bus Stop Questions

No More Sheltering Now
Bus stop, wet day
She's there, I say
Please share my umbrella

- There is no sharing an umbrella; there is just the option to make it 50% less effective by stretching a resource too far. In addition, you are empowering dependency and rewarding a lack of preparation. But from what's to come, this is just the tip of the iceberg.

Bus stops, bus goes
She stays, love grows
Under my umbrella

- "Grows"? This turned into porn with a quickness. At least they are using an umbrella for a modicum of decorum. Also, note that if the two of them were going to work in the morning, well, they've now blown off work to hump, and are probably doing it without protection, since who packs that sort of thing at the start of the day. Start the day with an STD from a rando. But let's go on.

All that summer we enjoyed it
Wind and rain and shine
That umbrella we employed it
By August she was mine

- You "enjoyed" it, regardless of weather condition? Tell me this isn't porn. Also, while "she was mine" could be taken as romantic conquest, but well, I believe that things are going to take a turn.

Every morning I would see her
Waiting at the stop
Sometimes she'd shop
And she would show me what she'd bought

- This all sounds innocent enough, until you consider the idea that the bus stop might not be in a commercial zone, and the implication is that the encounters are in the morning (since if it's later in the day and you didn't notice it was going to rain, that's even more evidence of a wastrel life). I can't shake the idea that what she bought... was not paid for in money. (Shudder.)

Other people stared
As if we were both quite insane
Someday my name and hers
Are going to be the same

- This, honestly, was the first domino in the line. You thought this was a meet-cute song, but the other commuters, rather than treating the encounter as if they were the extras in a delightful rom-com, know that something far more disturbing is going on. 

Also, those last two lines? 

WHICH NAME IS NOT SPECIFIED. 

WE ARE ALL FRED NOW.

That's the way the whole thing started
Silly but it's true
Thinking of our sweet romance
Beginning in a dew

- Insane bystanders that can't stop staring. The one name new world order. Porn under an umbrella, used regardless of weather conditions.

I do not want to do this dew.

Came the sun
The ice was melting
No more sheltering now

- Oh, there are no safe spaces in this song. No shelter at all.

Nice to think that that umbrella
Led me to a vow

- Note: vow does not need to mean matrimony. 

BLOOD, BLOOD, BLOODY DEW FOR MY LORD FRED.

Every morning…

- Oh, and it repeats, Groundhog Day style, in a purgatory where the bystanders are made to see what can not be unseen for all of eternity? My morning is made. 

Public transportation sucks.

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