9) Why are Ford customers so invested in violence for pleasure, and how is "punching work in the face" a good thing?
8) If I buy a Dodge, do I have to drive like an idiot in snow to annoy non-existent Russians?
7) Do Lincoln owners often stand in water and stare at their cars, or is that behavior reserved for stoner actors?
6) Does Peyton Manning know a lot of mascots, and if so, why does he keep inviting them to parties?
5) If you have alligator arms, how do you put on human clothes?
4) Are Target customers really excited about wasting dubiously healthy foods?
3) When the NFL is making safer shoes, has anyone thought about, um, safer helmets?
2) Are people who are interested in skiing in Utah aware that the slopes won't be pristine, for them alone, or populated by haughty blonde models?
1) If Verizon is responsible for abandoning Arianna Grande in the desert, aren't they doing the Lord's work?